How I spend money

I'm Jewish. This says a lot about me, and it says even more about my mother. You know those stereotypes of the Jewish mother? The nervous woman encouraging her children to eat, do well in school, and marry a nice Jewish boy? Yeah, that's my mom. Except that she's really skinny instead of squishy and soft. It makes it scarier.

In addition to a deep-seated unconscious feeling that Jewish boys are nicer, sexier, and just all around better, my mom also instilled in me an extreme fear of money. Well, it's a fear of losing money. I am terrified to spend money beyond basic survival -- food, rent, electricity. I do it, but every time I do it's a little heart-racing experience. "What if I go broke? What if I can't pay the rent? What if I have to move back in with my mother who deletes phone messages from boys who don't sound Jewish enough? Maybe I don't really need to spend that buck fifty on a cup of coffee..."

There's one exception to this: Sex Toys. I love my vibrators, and I NEVER feel guilty buying them. I mean, I've never sprung the $160 for the Lelo Mona that I so desperately desire, or for the Fun Factory Share that I keep telling myself will be a good investment. I mean, if I get it, I'm basically assuring that the people I date will have to enjoy me having the penis in the relationship at least some of the time. Right? Right?

It seems ridiculous to friends and family that I fret about going out to dinner but will drop money almost thoughtlessly on a nice sex toy, and I will admit that it's a little odd. I love food almost as much as I love sex. A nice dinner would probably give me about as much enjoyment as that vibrator will, but here's the thing. That nice dinner will only give it once. My favorite vibrator (for those who are interested, the Layaspot) has given me enjoyment time after time after time, and every single orgasm is different and beautiful in its own way. So that's why I spend money the way I spend money. Oh yeah, that and I'm generally a nervous wreck who needs to not worry so much about her finances. It's another thing that goes along with being Jewish.

Well, this is new...

So, I'm not going to lie: a large incentive for starting a blog is to get free books to review. I mean, who doesn't love free books? Especially free books about sex.

That said, I've wanted to start a blog about sex for a long time. I mean, who doesn't want to hear EVERYTHING that I think about sex, and I think a lot about sex. I mean a lot. I mean enough that it maybe should be criminal.

On a side note: I really hope that I have successfully divorced this blog from my work email enough that I do not get fired. It would really suck to be fired.

Back to business: Some other wonderful things to expect from this are the occasional non-sexy book book review, maybe some discourse on mental health rights, and, of course, the obligatory occasional "Look what I did today that's super cool" narcissistic blog post by which the internet is defined. We'll try to keep those to a minimum, okay?