Probably why I don't update my blog

Okay, okay, okay. I know it's been way too long. I'm a horrible blog-mistress. The punishment is one hundred floggings. No. Really. Please. Bring it on. But seriously, guys, I'm sorry that I've been so remiss. I want to provide you with sexy stories, thoughtful insights, and general musings on life, but sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes I'm really lazy. Actually, it's mostly that second point...

You see, in case you haven't realized it yet, I'm rather immature. I mean, I have my mature moments. I'm responsible, but maturity has never been my strong point. I still talk in baby voices, I hate cleaning, and sometimes when I get angry I cry and I scream. It's a wonder that I ever get laid. Anyway, it has taken the VSF nagging, pleading, and now threatening me to get me to write this. Those of you that know him, get him something nice. Like chocolate. Or a copious amount of Tenga products.

In realizing what a large part the VSF plays in my productivity and usefulness as a Real Live Adult©, I also realized that I haven't spoken much about our relationship. Now, I don't want this to turn into a 15 year old's "OH MY GOD MY BOYFRIEND IS SOOOO HOTTTT" blog. So I think I've restrained myself, but I think we have our moments. Well, I have my moments and he thoughtfully puts up with them.

For example, this afternoon the VSF decided to clean house a bit. You see, he doesn't work for pay, so he does wonderful things like clean our house. So he tidied up the room and just threw all of my clothes that were littering the floor onto the bed. I got into the bedroom, saw this, turned to him and said, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Put it away," he said. "What else would you do with it?"
"I dunno...put it on the floor."
He started reaching for my nipples (he's a twister) so I set about doing the adult thing, and began putting clothes into drawers. When I made it to the extra sheets that he had also put on the bed, I held them up and said, "Where should I put these? We put the other sheets on the bed."
"Well, dear, where did the other sheets come from?"
"The closet." So I walked over to the closet and put the extra sheets into his Box o' Stuff and walked away.
"Did you just put the sheets in my box?"
"No."
"You DID."
I ran over to the closet blocking him from observing the evidence, "No, just let me do, um, stuff in here for a second. Don't look."
"You are a child! I am going to have to start withholding sex from you until you do your chores."
"But I don't LIKE chores."
"Case in point."

Now, obviously he could never actually withhold sex from me because, well, who are we kidding? But he does do a good job at getting me to do my shit. So thank the VSF for this blog post.